How to Get Your Ex Back: Powerful Tips, Tarot Wisdom, and a Little Magic

Love is the most powerful energetic force I work with. I have spent my adult life studying energy in its many forms — planetary, karmic, psychological, spiritual — and nothing moves through a person with the force and complexity of love. When it is present it is the most nourishing thing in existence. When it withdraws it can leave something that feels, at its most acute, like a physical wound.

So if you are hurting right now — genuinely, achingly hurting — hear this first: that hurt is proportional to what you felt. And what you felt was real. You did not imagine the connection. You did not manufacture the love. The relationship that ended was real, the intimacy was real, the version of yourself that lived inside that love was real. None of that disappears because the relationship did. It lives in you. It shaped you. And it will, in time, become part of what leads you toward something even more genuinely aligned.

I know that feels impossible to believe right now, and I am not asking you to believe it. I am asking you to hold it lightly — the possibility that what feels like an ending is also, from a vantage point you cannot yet access, a beginning.

The people I have read for in exactly this moment — lost, hopeful, heartsick, brave enough to be looking for a way forward — have shown me one thing consistently enough that I no longer call it coincidence: those who face this moment with honesty and genuine self-inquiry almost always find their way to something better. Sometimes that something is a healed, genuinely transformed version of the relationship they lost. Sometimes it is something they could not have imagined wanting until the loss made room for it. Either way, the path forward begins not with strategy but with truth.

In 25 years of reading for people across every continent and every conceivable variation of heartbreak, I have never once met someone asking about an ex who was simply asking about an ex. What they were really asking was something deeper, something most people don't have the language for until they are sitting across from someone like me with their heart in pieces:

Am I loveable? Did I matter? Was any of it real? And is there any version of this story where it doesn't end here?

Those are the actual questions underneath "how do I get them back" — and those are the questions I am genuinely equipped to help you answer. Not because I will tell you what you want to hear. I won't. If you are still learning to work with the cards, my guide to how to ask tarot questions will help you frame what you are really after before you ever sit down to a reading.

Before we talk about tarot, before we talk about ritual or timing, I want to talk about energy — because in my work, everything begins here.

When two people are in a relationship — any relationship, regardless of how long it lasted or how it ended — they create what I think of as an energetic entanglement. A web of shared frequency, shared history, shared emotional imprinting that does not dissolve the moment someone walks out the door. It persists. It threads through your dreams, your body's muscle memory, the particular quality of silence in your home on a Tuesday evening. It shows up in the way you still reach for your phone to tell them something funny before you remember.

This is why breakups feel, at their worst, not like losing a person but like losing an entire version of yourself. Because in a very real energetic sense, you did. The self that existed inside that relationship — the person you were when you were seen and known by them — is genuinely gone. What you are grieving is both the relationship and the self that lived within it.

Let me be direct, because honesty here is both rare and essential. Tarot is not magic in the sense that it will rearrange external circumstances and deliver your ex back to you. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something I want no part of selling.

What tarot is — in the hands of someone who has worked with it for 25 years, who reads not just the cards but the person sitting in the energy of those cards — is one of the most precise diagnostic tools I know for understanding what is really happening beneath the story someone is telling themselves. It reads energy: present energy, primarily — the living, right-now truth of the situation as it actually is, rather than as you fear or hope it is. If you have ever wondered whether any of this holds up, my honest answer lives in are tarot readings accurate.

That last message is the hardest to hear, and it is also the one that most consistently leads people toward something genuinely better than what they were holding onto. Release is not defeat. Sometimes it is the single most powerful act of love available to you.

I want to be precise here, because this distinction matters to me and to the integrity of the work. There is a category of ritual that tries to manipulate another person's free will — to bend their energy toward you regardless of what they genuinely want or need. I do not offer those. I do not believe in them energetically, and I do not believe they produce what people hope for, because a connection built through manipulation rather than genuine resonance will not hold.

What I do offer is different: a ritual to shift your own energy — to clear the grievance, fear and desperation that paradoxically push love away, and to return you to the frequency of someone genuinely open to love rather than anxiously reaching for one specific outcome.

The energy you bring to any attempt at reconnection is not separate from the outcome of that attempt. It is one of its primary determinants. Someone who reaches out from genuine clarity and self-possession — open to whatever response comes — creates a fundamentally different encounter than someone who reaches out from desperation and fear of abandonment.

Your ex can feel the difference. Not necessarily consciously, but they feel it — the same way you feel the difference between someone who genuinely wants to see you and someone who needs something from you. The words can be identical; the felt quality is not.

This is why my work is never simply "how do you get them back." It is always: how do you return to yourself — fully, honestly, without the story that you are incomplete without this person — so that if reconnection happens, it happens between two whole people rather than between someone whole and someone desperate.

Everything I have written here is true, and it is also general. Your situation is specific. Your history with this person is specific. The particular entanglement between you — what was genuine, what was projected, what is still possible and what has genuinely completed itself — cannot be fully addressed by a guide written for everyone.

When I read for you personally, in the context of your energy and your question about this specific person, what emerges is always more precise and more useful than any general framework. If a single pressing question is what's keeping you up at night, a focused 3-Card Tarot Reading is often the gentlest place to begin. And if the cards show me that the most loving thing available is release rather than reconnection, I will tell you that too — with all the care and directness I have.

The love you are looking for is real. The only question is whether it lives in the past — or in what is still coming. The cards know the difference, and so, underneath the noise, do you. What I can promise is not a specific outcome but an honest mirror, and the steadier ground from which any real reconnection would have to be built anyway.